When I was a child my dad spoiled me rotten. High school friends that read this will nod in agreement when they recall the day they all found out he brought me breakfast in bed each morning. They had the same reaction most everyone else in my life has had when presented with that info. “HE WHAT???? You are a spoiled brat”.

I have always adamantly denied that assertion. I appreciated all the things I had and the stuff my parents did for me, so I was not spoiled. Now that I’m older I’m thinking about a nickname he had for me. I’m not a nickname sort of girl, which is ironic given the name of this website. I always thought it was because my mother made me go by my middle name and it was absolutely maddening. Always having to correct the teacher the first day of school. Getting the claim denied because Middle Name is not the insured. My son’s school questioning my right to collect his information because they only had First Name on file. Now I have a new theory on why I don’t like nicknames……PBK.

It stands for “punk brat kid”. My father called me PBK all the time. It never bothered me before because I never really thought I was spoiled. The longer I live I am realizing how absolutely spoiled I am. I am a punk brat kid right now and I am not appreciative of it.  Things aren’t working out the way I want them to and I am mad. I’m fit-throwing, fist-pouding, throw-myself-down-on-the-ground mad. The funny thing is, I know in my heart that just because I throw a fit, I won’t get my way. My kids don’t, what makes me think God will just hand me all my desires on a silver platter because I got mad?

I don’t even really feel better after I throw my fit. I actually feel worse. I say things I regret and throw accusations I know aren’t true. I suppose either people will know exactly what I mean or think “that woman needs to be hospitalized — she is insane”. Either way, I am not proud of my newfound brattiness. I hate that I have forgotten all the things I seemed to know as a child. Things like “be thankful for what you have. If you have a ton, appreciate it. If you have enough, appreciate it”.
I suppose I need to parent myself a little here and imagine what I would tell my children: “Suck it up. You don’t always get what you want and you are OK. God knows what you need and He has provided it so just be happy with what you have, you punk brat kid”.

Categories: Rin | Tags: , ,

Post navigation

Proudly powered by WordPress Theme: Adventure Journal by Contexture International.