I’m Losing It

Hair.

I never really thought too much about it. I’ve always had a pretty thick head of it, although I’d been noticing some recession these past few years. I’d had some stray grays popping up since the day after our honeymoon (I’m not kidding), but Rin has told me it’s “distinguished” and “sexy.” So what’s a little gray and a little receding hairline compared to baldness — especially that baldness where there’s nothing on top and a nice thick ring of hair around the sides and the back?

When I was in high school, I declared that if I was ever going bald — like that described above — I would be quick to shave it all off.

The last few months, I’ve noticed that my hair on top hasn’t been as thick as usual. I chalked it up to stress, figuring that the new job would help regain what had been lost.  Besides, my hair was still opaque, none of that transluscent comb-over effect going on–or so I thought!

Last week, Rin started showing me photos of our middle son’s first day of preschool. They were cute photos. And she even showed me one of me walking our little guy down the school hallway. And there it was. A big fleshy part of my head showing through my dark brown hair. Why the face? (See Modern Family, Season 1)

My response to seeing such a thing?

Erase it, Rin.

Then I had her take intentional photos of the back of my head. There it was again. It was NOT glare. Not one of my many cowlicks gone awry.

I reacted in a way I thought I’d never react. I got a little depressed. I started combing it different ways, trying to make it look fuller. No such luck!

I finally told Rin about the promise I’d made to myself in high school. I’ll shave it all off.

Her response? Please don’t. I don’t know if I could take that.

My mother-in-law’s response? What if your head is ugly?

I decided to let it grow a little more and see if it would fill in. All that happened was the top, middle part stayed thin and the sides and back began the transformation to that obnoxious thick ring thing that I cannot allow to happen. (For those of you who have such ring, no offense. I just don’t think it would look too good on my apparently ugly head.)

I was debating when to get a hair cut and how to get it cut — or shaved.

Yesterday, at church, a friend of my son’s came up to me and we had the following conversation:

Him: You really look like Mr. “So and So.” I always get you two confused.

Me: I don’t know Mr. “So and So,” but he must be a good-lookin’ guy. Tee hee hee.

Him: Yeah. (Eye roll)

Then, Mr. “So and So” walked by. The kid yells: There he is! See, I told you that you looked alike.

No offense to Mr. “So and So,” but I wanted to die. The guy had me by a good ten years, a seemingly good ten pounds, and a head of thinning very gray hair!!

I decided to go immediately after church.

I didn’t tell Rin my plan, but I thought I’d explore the opportunity to shave it off once and for all. I’d be proactive — get rid of it before it faded away one little “he’s sure getting thin” comment at a time.

But then I met Borka. Yes, Borka. She’s from Bosnia. Borka from Bosnia.

She works at a local chop shop, and she told me I looked good and didn’t need to shave it all off. Let’s try something, she said. She told me that the whole “grow it out and see if it’ll get thicker” thing didn’t work. She said that only enhanced the “ring” or “halo” effect that I was desperately trying to avoid. She also said that the longer I grew it, the more it would look like a comb-over. So, she just cut it short and showed me that the shorter my hair was, the less obvious the bare spots.

When I left, I felt better about myself. I felt a little more macho. And I have a new, self-esteem-boosting friend — Borka from Bosnia!

So, I’m trying it, and I like it … today. It’s really nothing new, as I’ve had my hair cut short for a number of years. But I have decided to maintain this length, instead of letting it grow out and calling attention to what is probably inevitable.

I’ve heard that you get your hairline from your mother’s father. In that case, I have no chance. I don’t think Grandpa Louie ever had hair on the top of his head. So, I’m prepared for the day when I have Rin break out the straight razor and I go the Mr. Clean route. But until then, I will be a regular in Borka’s chair.

P.S. Any of you used Nioxin?

P.P.S That’s not a photo of me.

 

 

 

6 Replies to “I’m Losing It”

  1. Oh, man….after that story, I was hoping to see a picture of you bald!!!! (although I couldn’t imagine it!!!) And Borka is 100% right—the longer your hair is, the more noticeable it is! Leave it nice and short. (You’ll always be handsome, Eric!!!) 😉

    1. Thanks, Jen. I don’t guess it’s that bad; I just had more of a reaction to it than I thought I ever would.

  2. In my opinion, any man over the age of 35 who has a full head of hair cannot be trusted. Keith’s hair has been thinning for a while, and we keep cutting it shorter and shorter. In fact, I cut his hair at home with a number one comb on the trimmers once a week. I think he looks great.

  3. Well you just saved me some writing. What you described is exactly where I am at minus Borca. My wife Sarah has been cutting my hair for several years and has been doing a great job at it but the less I have on top the more that ring shows on the sides. I was thinking of starting to fix it like the old bald guy from Tekken (Mr. Michima?) but I’m not sure how that would look on the sermon videos. Any way I can not shave mine till I’m back under 160lbs. Sarah’s way of keeping it form happening but after seeing Jason Statham on another movie last night I decided I can deal will looking like him until I am fully buff and I can pull off an even tougher look.

    1. Glad I could save you some time. As for the 160 pounds, I don’t think I’ve seen that on my scale since my freshman year of high school. Now I’m reminded that I’m bald AND fat. Thanks, man.

Comments are closed.