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My husband has a super power. It really is Incredible.

The above scene from The Incredibles happens in my house more often than I can even tell you. Except I don’t have a daughter.

And only one of us has a super power, and it is not me.

Let me set the scene: Eric is sitting on the couch with Evan and Caleb (2 and 3, respectively). I am on the loveseat. Evan and Caleb are arguing and screaming at each other, hitting and kicking and not stopping, regardless of my threats.

Me: If you two don’t stop you’re getting a spankin’! (spankin’ because I live in Texas)

2&3: Still with the screaming at each other

Eric: *crickets*

Someone pinches someone else……

Me: I’m serious! KNOCK IT OFF!!! Do you need a nap? Be KIND, people!!!

2&3: *more noise, ugliness and louder screaming*

Eric: *happy face in happy land. crickets still*

Me: ERIC! Do you NOT HEAR THEM!?!? DO SOMETHING!!!

Eric: What, babe?

Me: Seriously? You don’t have any idea what’s going on? Have you not heard them about to kill each other RIGHT NEXT TO YOU?

Eric, now alerted to the ongoing war, makes the insanity stop with one sentence:

Then he says, “Babe, I really didn’t hear it. It’s like a superpower.”

There it was.

It’s a superpower.

Wow. In that moment it all became clear.

Like the time we were having company and I said, in the midst of my cleaning frenzy, “All I need you to do is put these towels away.” He nodded.

Ten minutes later, the towels were still on the sink and my sweet man was completely dumbfounded by my freak out.

He replied with those words I have come to know so well: “I didn’t hear you. I don’t think you told me that, hon.”

I used to think he was forgetful.

Eckert brain, I would call it.

Now I know the truth. He’s superhuman.

Instead of being able to hear like an elephant, he can’t hear anything at all.

I might be wired exactly the opposite. I can hear every sound the kids make. I have the ability to sort out and ignore the normal, non-confrontational sounds with a great ability. It doesn’t mean I don’t hear it; it’s just more of a drone in the background. The second it goes south I hear it full blast, which is apparently the moment that Eric’s gift kicks in.

I wonder what the ratio is of men to women who have this phenomenon. I mean, it really is amazing to me, and I believe it warrants some research. Then I wonder if a couple that both have the super power were to procreate, would their children automatically have the same ability?

Would they even survive childhood since their parents were incapable of hearing all the negativity that childhood and siblings bring? I need to get some funding for this.

So there it is.

I have my own version of Mr. Incredible here at my home. Mine is way hotter, though.

Bunnies and Eggs are Annoying

I love making holidays and special events memorable and fun for my kids. We are there for the school events, fun nights and award ceremonies that are all promptly followed by celebratory pizza or ice cream. When the first grader gets to clip up to the highest color on the behavior chart, we get him a prize. (Mainly because I was under the impression they were unattainable and made that promise at the beginning of the year. As it turns out, pink is entirely attainable. About seven times, actually.)

Birthdays are like holidays in this house. We celebrate Birthday Week. We love April Fools Day.  Halloween we invite friends over for post trick or treating chili. Christmas? We. Are. Pros.

That being said, I do not love coloring Easter eggs. I really don’t love anything Easter bunny related. He’s creepy. Bunnies of all sizes are disturbing, but a freaking giant dude delivering eggs (gag) just is right up there with clowns.

Each year I almost forget about the fun of dipping stinky-hard-boiled-grossness into food coloring. Unfortunately, I never have. Always, on Easter Eve, the Eckerts can be found doing just that. Continue reading

Just don’t do the laundry

I am exhausted and cranky tonight, yet I have set goals for myself this week and I feel the need to start this up. For the one-hundred-thousandth time. Whatever.

Today I had great plans to finish laundry and actually clean MY house. I have taken up a little side work cleaning houses and it makes me so sad when I walk into my house and there is toothpaste smeared all over the bathroom sink. And toilet. And ceiling. Continue reading