Sleep Disturbance

I wish I wrote more often, but it can get so difficult trying to figure out what to write about. I mean, I have PLENTY to say, but I’m not sure anyone really wants to read that. Then, sometimes a blog just drops in my lap at 2:42 AM.

Eric and I went to bed last night about 11 PM. I had been having serious allergy issues so I took a benadryl right before I set the alarm, turned down the air and went to bed.

Fast forward to 2:42:

I was sound asleep, dreaming something weird, when all of a sudden I heard the alarm going off and this electronic voice saying:

“Alarm! Office window open. Alarm! Office window open.”

Eric jumped out of bed and ran out of our room, completely out of sight.

I stumbled out of our room and made my way to the alarm pad and stared at it. I couldn’t figure out how to turn it off. I was just staring at it until I decided to try to make the noise stop. I started just punching numbers, but they weren’t working. I was trying to remember my phone passcode or anything that would bring silence, but I could not summon a single correct digit. Evan appeared as if out of nowhere and I yelled, “I don’t know how to make it stop!!!”

Evan put the code in and was saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry”.

Me: “Why are you sorry?”

Evan: “I forgot about the alarm when I opened my window.”

Me: “What?”

Evan: “I set off the alarm when I opened my window.’

Me: “Why were you opening your window? It’s the middle of the night.”

Evan: “I was looking for something.”

Me: “What? What were you looking for???”

Evan: “I don’t know. I dropped my weights when I was trying to open my window.”

(He has a weight bench in his room.)

Me: “What???????? Where’s your dad?”

Evan: “He’s outside.”

We then made our way to the front door. I yelled for Eric and found him midway down the street.

Eric: “I can’t find anybody!!!”

Me: “Who are you looking for?”

Eric: “Someone tried to open Evan’s window.”

Me: “It was Evan. He was looking for something. “

Eric: “What?”

Evan: “I don’t remember what I was looking for.”

Me: “How did you know it was Evan’s window?”

Eric: “The alarm said it was the window in his room. I went outside to get whoever it was!”

It had not occurred to me until that moment that the alarm going off at 2:42 AM could mean imminent harm. Eric went to secure the perimeter, ready to beat somebody up, while I couldn’t even enter the correct passcode.

Eric asked about two or three more times if it really was Evan that opened the window before he realized there was no intruder to tackle. We all three made our way back inside, all in our own middle-of-the-night haze.

I kept grilling Evan to see if he was telling the truth. Once I realized there could have been a bad guy, I was convinced the explanation was not that Evan sleepwalks, but something much more sinister. I went through his phone to ensure he wasn’t trying to escape while fully conscious. I told him none of this added up and he didn’t really know what I meant.

It got to a point where none of us were really making sense or understanding each other, so we all went back to bed. Eric kept saying, “Well, we know it works. It did it’s job”.

When we got up this morning, Michael and Caleb had no idea what had happened, so that’s encouraging that they can sleep through a loud alarm and so much action.
Also, our dog did not move a muscle throughout the whole debacle.

Kids (and husband) at home and social distancing: Blog two

Like everyone else, I am spending an enormous amount of time at home. Unlike most people, this isn’t too different for me — except not going to work every day. In normal life, I get home in the afternoon and don’t really venture out unless one of the kids requires transportation somewhere.

Yesterday I decided that I would clean my house the way I would clean a client’s home. That doesn’t happen very often and I thought it sounded fun. I began to dust my china cabinet and realized it was time to clean the glass shelves (something I don’t do for my clients because it’s their CHINA!!!!).

My experiment lasted exactly 30 seconds.

After I cleaned the shelves, I realized that I needed to clean the decorations above my cabinets. As I pulled all the teapots and steins and vases down, I had a brilliant idea to redecorate up there. What possibly could cause more work from that epiphany?

Let me tell you. I don’t have a ton of cabinet space that is available because I am what Eric would call “a stuffer”. He claims that I just throw things in drawers and cabinets to get them out of the way. The cabinet in which I wanted to put all the leftover things was full of……..crap. Crap worth saving (mostly) but crap nonetheless.

Thirty minutes later our entire kitchen looked as though a burglar broke into our home and ransacked the kitchen. All the while, Eric was on a video call, completely oblivious to the chaos around him. Apparently, he had engaged superpower mode. If you are unfamiliar with Eric’s super human abilities, check them out here:

He’s pretty amazing.

When it was all said and done, I had redecorated the kitchen cabinets and hutch, cleaned the kitchen, bleached the bathrooms, dusted the house (except the boys rooms because they have hands and feet and PLENTY of time), cleaned the baseboards, vacuumed and mopped, made a delicious dinner, redid the chalk art and gave myself a manicure.

I have no idea what I am going to do today. I thought about cleaning the carpets, but it is raining and that would be pointless. I feel like I wish I liked reading more. Eric keeps buying me books in an attempt to make me love reading.  Of course there’s the one constant in my life that never leaves me — laundry.

I am not that desperate yet, though.

Kids at home and social distancing: Blog one

The last two days were the boys first two days of cancelled school due to the coronavirus. We have chosen to not look at this as Second Spring Break, but instead to stay home as much as possible. We sat down and gave the boys some goals for the week, one of which was for them to clean their rooms. In theory this task would only take about 30 minutes, if they didn’t complain and just cleaned their room. As any parent knows, this is not how it went down.

One of them chose to completely empty their closet and throw all his belongings on his bed. Day two, he is still unable to sleep in his own bed.

The oldest did a decent job. He still has some laundry to take care of, but the room is good.

The subject of this blog is my tidy child. His room got a little disheveled with various baseball cards, so he organized them and then cleaned his room. I took a look at it today and it didn’t look done. I asked him to go finish it up and as he was doing so, he informed me that he threw away his recorder from grade school.

Aside from the fact that I minored in music and it just hurts me to know that an instrument (as annoying as the recorder can be) was wasted, I have one more child that will need a recorder next year. It didn’t cost much – I don’t even remember how much, but that really wasn’t the point. I just didn’t want to buy a third recorder. The first one was lost in a move and I was ridiculously excited to have saved the second one. I’m not sure why.

So, the conversation started:

Kid: I threw away my recorder

Me: WHY???
Kid: I was done with it

Other Kid: It was an instrument. Why would you throw it away?

Wasteful Kid (now known as WK): Who even gives a crap?

Me: I do!

WK: Well, it didn’t even sound that good.

Other Kid: Maybe it was you playing it and not the recorder

Me: I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY THAT! (High five to other kid)

WK: It was only $15! Who gives a crap???
Me: Again, I give a crap. Since it’s only $15 you can pay for the next one.

In a power play he huffed and puffed and stuffed his bag from the orthodontist into my purse before he went back into his room and emerged with more trash. He then went back into his room and emerged with more trash.

WK: May I please have your permission to throw this trash away? Would you like to keep this and play it?

At this point I really didn’t love having a clone of myself.

The oldest then went in his room and began playing recorder music to let us know what the youngest would be missing out on.

WK: You guys are annoying. You sound almost like that recorder.

Third Kid enter stage left: What recorder?

Me: The one he threw away.

Third Kid: Now I’ll never learn the recorder? Thanks a lot!!!

Other Kid: He claimed it didn’t sound that good anyway, but we think it was him.


This is day two.  DAY TWO.