The above scene from The Incredibles happens in my house more often than I can even tell you. Except I don’t have a daughter.
And only one of us has a super power, and it is not me.
Let me set the scene: Eric is sitting on the couch with Evan and Caleb (2 and 3, respectively). I am on the loveseat. Evan and Caleb are arguing and screaming at each other, hitting and kicking and not stopping, regardless of my threats.
Me: If you two don’t stop you’re getting a spankin’! (spankin’ because I live in Texas)
2&3: Still with the screaming at each other
Someone pinches someone else……
Me: I’m serious! KNOCK IT OFF!!! Do you need a nap? Be KIND, people!!!
2&3: *more noise, ugliness and louder screaming*
Eric: *happy face in happy land. crickets still*
Me: ERIC! Do you NOT HEAR THEM!?!? DO SOMETHING!!!
Eric: What, babe?
Me: Seriously? You don’t have any idea what’s going on? Have you not heard them about to kill each other RIGHT NEXT TO YOU?
Eric, now alerted to the ongoing war, makes the insanity stop with one sentence:
Then he says, “Babe, I really didn’t hear it. It’s like a superpower.”
There it was.
It’s a superpower.
Wow. In that moment it all became clear.
Like the time we were having company and I said, in the midst of my cleaning frenzy, “All I need you to do is put these towels away.” He nodded.
Ten minutes later, the towels were still on the sink and my sweet man was completely dumbfounded by my freak out.
He replied with those words I have come to know so well: “I didn’t hear you. I don’t think you told me that, hon.”
I used to think he was forgetful.
Eckert brain, I would call it.
Now I know the truth. He’s superhuman.
Instead of being able to hear like an elephant, he can’t hear anything at all.
I might be wired exactly the opposite. I can hear every sound the kids make. I have the ability to sort out and ignore the normal, non-confrontational sounds with a great ability. It doesn’t mean I don’t hear it; it’s just more of a drone in the background. The second it goes south I hear it full blast, which is apparently the moment that Eric’s gift kicks in.
I wonder what the ratio is of men to women who have this phenomenon. I mean, it really is amazing to me, and I believe it warrants some research. Then I wonder if a couple that both have the super power were to procreate, would their children automatically have the same ability?
Would they even survive childhood since their parents were incapable of hearing all the negativity that childhood and siblings bring? I need to get some funding for this.
So there it is.
I have my own version of Mr. Incredible here at my home. Mine is way hotter, though.